Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Randomize
