My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Dating After Heartbreak
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?