Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
