Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(864): View more from South Carolina

he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.

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(864): he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs. http://tfl.nu/m2cw

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building

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(262): remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building http://tfl.nu/3ctj

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(248): View more from Michigan

going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.

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(248): going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school. http://tfl.nu/hpld

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(225): View more from Louisiana

Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee

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(225): Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee http://tfl.nu/zf15

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(303): View more from Colorado

I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.

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(303): I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder. http://tfl.nu/f12p

Replies (21) Good night (9332) Bad night (1245)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.

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(203): There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game. http://tfl.nu/0we4

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(785): View more from Kansas

Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.

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(785): Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know. http://tfl.nu/7et1

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(214): View more from Texas

Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.

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(214): Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing. http://tfl.nu/4y7p

Replies (9) Good night (5931) Bad night (1100)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze

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(402): Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze http://tfl.nu/3a8k

Replies (6) Good night (2666) Bad night (1080)
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(519): View more from Ontario

On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?

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(519): On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend? http://tfl.nu/abvl

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(704): View more from North Carolina

The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.

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(704): The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night. http://tfl.nu/10ma

Replies (4) Good night (1209) Bad night (667)
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

I thought you were single?

(1-262): View more from Wisconsin

I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.

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(262): I thought you were single? (1-262): I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick. http://tfl.nu/pt5v

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(503): View more from Oregon

Did I change midway through last night?

(206): View more from Washington

Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking

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(503): Did I change midway through last night? (206): Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking http://tfl.nu/rz21

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me

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(814): the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me http://tfl.nu/xcf9

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(479): View more from Arkansas

I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.

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(479): I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again. http://tfl.nu/tpxn

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