I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
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