is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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