did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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