Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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