Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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