There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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