i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
