I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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