you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
