i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I'm having to shit out rocks
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