i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
