In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Randomize
