i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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