So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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