Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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