she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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