when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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