Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
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