what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
