its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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