I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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