Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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