I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
