I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
