i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
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I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
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I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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