so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
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