I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
