I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
