Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
