he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
