is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
