I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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