I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
