Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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