In the future we'll all be gay
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
