It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
