I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
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stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
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I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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