you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
