Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
