so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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