took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
