Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize
