Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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