My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
