I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
