First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
