If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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