Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
