I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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