I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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