I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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