I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
