"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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