operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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