I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
He has the fingertips of a God
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