I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
