i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
