I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
