why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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