My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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