I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
