honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
