this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
